The Mess We Made
by His Singer1
Summary: "Everything was a mess, my heart, his heart, this whole relationship. And it all started when he cheated." Trying to deal with betrayal, she broke his heart too and together they made a beautiful mess. When trust is broken and love isn't enough. E/B HEA.
1. Guilty

**I don't own Twilight or anything associated with it.**

**This is the one-shot I donated to Fandom4Tsunami and I am turning it into a multi-chapter story.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

**BPOV**

Everything was a mess, my heart, his heart, this whole relationship. And it all started when he cheated.

I was home waiting for Edward. He said he would be home at 9pm and it was now 10pm. I was worried that something had happened so I called his phone and no answer. I called again, no answer. This went on for another 5 minutes so I tried his best friend Jasper.

"Bella?" he answered. He sounded tired.

"Yes, sorry to bother you, Jasper, but have you seen or spoken to Edward?"

"Sorry," he said, "I haven't. Why? Is something wrong?"

"That's what I want to know. He said he'd be home and he's an hour late."

"Did you call him?"

"Yes! He's not answering."

"Bella," Jasper sighed, "I'm sure he's okay, don't get yourself worked up. I have to go."

"Ok but let me know if you hear from him."

"Will do. And get some sleep. I'm sure he's fine."

After I hung up with Jasper, I called Angela. I was sure she knew. Angela has been best friend with me and Edward since we were kids. I loved her like a sister.

"Yes?" she answered. She sounded out of breath.

"Ang, its Bella. Are you ok?"

"Bella! Hold on." I heard movement and voices.

"Bella? You there?"

"Yes, are you busy? I can call back."

"No, it's fine."

"No, I just called to ask you, have you heard from Edward?" There was a pause.

"Edward? No I haven't."

"Ok, thanks. Bye."

She didn't say anything and then I heard the dial tone in my ear. _Weird_, I mused. And then I heard the front door open. I ran to the living room and there was Edward. I ran to him and hugged him hard.

"Where have you been? I was worried." He hugged me back and kissed me on the cheek.

"Sorry to worry you, I was out with friends. I forgot to call you."

"What friends? You don't have any but Jasper."

He sighed. "Some guys I met at the gym. Look, babe, I'm tired and sweaty I'm going to take a shower." And he went to the bedroom.

I felt stupid, worried over nothing. I went in the bedroom and he had his clothes on the floor. Typical Edward, always leaving clothes everywhere. I went to put his clothes in the hamper when I felt his pants' pocket vibrate. He left his phone. I took it out and saw he had a text from Angela so I opened it and read it. There was nothing wrong with it. We answered each other's phones and we had nothing to hide so when I read the text, I wasn't expecting this. I just stood there reading it over and over, trying to make sense of it. So I texted back. The next text came through quick and when I read it, all the air left my body and I dropped the phone. _Please let this be a joke._ I was so absorbed in my thoughts I didn't hear Edward coming from the bathroom.

"Bella," he called. I looked at him, not sure what my face looked like. "Are you ok? What's wrong?" he asked coming closer. I just shook my head and looked down at the phone, he followed my gaze. "Bella?" he asked again. I found my voice.

"Just read the text and please tell me this is a joke," I whispered.

"What?"

He picked up the phone and read it silently. He didn't say a word, he didn't have to. His face and eyes said it all. He looked guilty. He looked like he got caught.

**As much as I don't wanna believe it**  
><strong>Whatever is this plain to see<strong>  
><strong>I don't wanna know the truth but I need it<strong>  
><strong>And the jury finds you guilty guilty <strong>  
><strong>For breaking my heart<strong>  
><strong>You're guilty guilty like murder in the third degree<strong>

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><p><strong>I wrote 7 chapters before hand and 3 are already beta'd. Usaully I update 1-2 a day but we will see how this goes, maybe once a week. You tell me, would you read a chapter even if it wasn't beta'd yet?<strong>


	2. Two Months Later

**Twilight has nothing to do with me.**

**Seriously thank you for the alerts and reviews and because of that, here is chapter two.**

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><p>The quietness in here was soothing, helping me relax. I could stay here forever and forget all my worries but the universe had other plans for me. One of my problems worked with me and every time I glimpsed at her, I had to fight the urge not to smash her face. I had so many conflicting emotions while working with her, because on a good day I could forget what she had done and other days things got really tense.<p>

Thinking about those good and bad days while I checked over accounts, I heard the click clack of heels across the floor. My head snapped up to glare at the person who dared to interrupt the silence. I was met with Angela's fearful and nervous eyes. I glared at her and went back to checking accounts. I thought she would take a hint and leave but she just stood there tapping her fingers on the counter.

"Can I help you?" I asked sweetly.

I watched her fidget with her clothes and wring her hands which made me agitated by the second.

She took a deep breath. "I wanted to see if you would like to eat lunch with me," she finally spoke.

I was taken aback. We never really spoke, except for a rare hello or goodbye, or hung out together. Sometimes, if I would see a book I knew she would like, I would recommend it and vice versa. Other than that I couldn't stand to be in the same room as her.

"I know we're not in a good place right now, and things may never be the same, but I would like to salvage what is left and I'm not afraid to say I miss you," she continued when I didn't speak.

Hearing her say that, I couldn't deny that I missed her and wished things could go back to the beginning, and if I could let go of the past then I'm sure we could make this work… or not. I was about to reply when my phone vibrated with a text. It was Edward, same as always.

**E- Where are you?**

He never gave me a chance to respond.

_Buzz Buzz_

**E-Why aren't you home yet? What are you doing? Who are you doing?**

I sighed he was never going to trust me, even though it was me whose trust was broken.

**E- Please come home.**

I looked towards Angela.

I was torn between wanting to work things out, wanting to hate her, and then knowing I needed to go home to Edward, before his panic would get out of control and we would land in square one all over again.

"That was Edward. He wants me to come home so I better go since we get off early," I replied to her questioning look.

She smiled. "Oh, bring him along. We haven't hung out in a while and I know Edward misses me because I miss him," she said, sounding genuine.

But I saw the way her eyes flashed at the mention of his name. This was one reason why I hated her at times. How can she think that it would be okay? Because nothing is okay.

"Look, Angela, I appreciate your offer but don't delude yourself into thinking we're friends and never mention his name to me ever again," I said, dismissing her from my presence.

I needed to get my anger in check and keep my feelings professional for both of our sakes. I used to love Angela before she did something that warranted my hate. It all started when she slept with my boyfriend.

**Pretty words roll off of your tongue**  
><strong>Come out of your mouth heard by everyone<strong>  
><strong>So convincing I believed it<strong>  
><strong>For so long I still can't figure out<strong>  
><strong>Why many wont last, why many wont last<strong>  
><strong>With the blink of your eye it's all gone away<strong>

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><p><strong>Last one for the day. Who knows, you keep reading and I'll keep writing.<strong>


	3. Is Love Enough?

**Disclaimer-You know the deal by now.**

**Alerts make me happy. Reviews make me giddy and want to update again.**

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I got home to see Edward pacing back and forth and getting mad by the minute. I sighed. All I wanted to do was to come home and relax, for once without a fight, and just maybe hear how he missed me and loved me.

"I'm home," I said, walking in the kitchen for a drink.

I heard his footsteps as he followed me. I paused. _And countdown 3…2…1..._

"Where the hell where you?" he yelled.

"I was at work," I answered calmly. I knew the drill.

"You never answered your phone and I didn't know what to think when you were spotted out with a group of guys!" he continued. I let him vent, as always, until he got to the end. I put up with everything else but this accusation made me angry.

"I was at work all day so check your facts before you accuse," I retorted.

"Well, people saw you," he said.

I laughed humorously. "The same people that saw me last time? Are you going to believe them over me? And we are already in a rough spot. Please, don't make it harder," I told him.

"What am I supposed to believe?" he whispered.

Normally, I would comfort him and we would make up but I was tired of this, when none was my fault, when I was the victim. I took a deep breath, trying to cut back this rush of emotions.

"You're supposed to believe me, the woman you supposedly love, who loves you back and who stayed with you despite not trusting you, despite what you did and when I should have left!" I yelled, losing my patience.

He took a step back at my outburst and tried to speak again but I cut him off. He needed to hear this.

"Edward, you cheated, you messed up and I forgave you or part of me did. The point is, if you can't trust me when you are to blame, then I can't do this anymore," I explained.

His eyes softened and he walked toward me, taking me in his arm, whispering sweet words and false promises. I pulled away, not in the mood for this anymore.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

Like many others, his apologies meant nothing to me. The only thing holding me back was my unyielding love for him but now I was not sure love was enough.

**Is love enough**  
><strong>To make you stay with me<strong>  
><strong>Is love enough<strong>  
><strong>To make you stop crying<strong>  
><strong>Is love enough<strong>  
><strong>Make you understand<strong>  
><strong>Is love enough<strong>  
><strong>Enough<strong>

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><p><strong>Would you stay if your partner cheated. Would love be enough?<strong>


	4. Signs

**September 2d, 2001**

_Green candy apple eyes._

_Unruly brown curls._

_Dimples so deep._

_The focus of every girl's fantasy._

_My new crush._

_Edward Masen._

_This boy was a fine specimen and I wanted to be on his arm, to see him smile and laugh, and I wanted to be the reason for those reactions. This was a different kind of crush for me because I could see this as long term and something that would make me happy too._

"_Bella, are you listening to me?" Angela's voice drifted in._

_I ignored her question and refocused my attention on Edward. I watched him walk over to a table of girls. I hated them. Those girls made everyone else's life miserable and put people down to make themselves feel better. Carmen, Lauren, Alice and Rosalie. Rosalie was my first friend ever and then came Angela. Angela, Alice, Rosalie and I were inseparable until we got to high school and they changed or I did. The point is they became popular and forgot about us. I hated that because when I considered you a friend, I expected you to be in for the long haul. I hated that they stopped to that level. Maybe Alice was always shallow and petty but Rosalie changed so much and became someone I hated. And at first I was okay with it, until I started getting the same attention and could be popular too. But I didn't want to sacrifice my integrity to be popular. When I turned down the offer, Rosalie was offended somehow, as if I acted like I was better than her and she always tried to remind me. Ever since, she had to be better than me and be the first in the know and be prettier. When I did something, Alice or Rosalie had to upstage me. Everything was a competition. When I joined cheerleading, of course they joined too but I quit because it was no fun with them. The main thing that Rosalie and I competed about was boys. Everyone was a conquest. It was always a tie between her looks and my looks. We were wanted by everyone but I always felt that she was prettier and she never lost the chance to point it out. So the fact that Edward was paying attention to her made my blood boil._

"_Bella, what are you staring…" Angela's voice trailed off. "He's gorgeous, isn't he?" she said._

_Insanely so, I thought._

"_Yes, and I want him," I replied._

"_You know, there's more to him than looks. He's really smart and a nice guy," she commented._

"_How do you know?" I asked._

"_He lives next door to me."_

"_You never told me. This is great. We can meet at your house from now on."_

_She had a frown on her face that I didn't understand. Now I could see Edward and his friends coming towards our table._

_I love his walk, I thought._

"_Introduce me."_

_A pause. "I don't know him that well."_

_They were about to walk past when he noticed Angela. Was I invisible?_

"_Hey, neighbor," he greeted her. Dimples going deeper and his voice, he had the voice of a grown man._

"_Hey, Edward," Angela said, blushing._

_I noticed that and hoped she wasn't crushing on my crush. I noticed his friends checking me out. Now why couldn't he notice me?_

"_I'm Jasper. This is Mike, Emmett and that's Edward," the tall blond guy gave out introductions. They were pretty hot but none surpassed Edward._

"_Bella," I said in reply._

_I swear Edward's head snapped at the sound of my voice. He turned towards me._

_Angela blushed. "Oh and that's my best friend, Bella."_

_Now she introduced me and I still noticed the blush on her cheeks when talking to him but I didn't look into it._

_He smiled at me. "Nice to meet you. I didn't know Angela had friends."_

_I glared at her. So he knew enough about her but she said she didn't know him that well._

"_I'm her only friend," I emphasized and she knew to look abashed._

"_Good to know. See you later," he said and rushed away._

_Yes, I thought, you will see me later._


	5. Questions

**Edited**

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><p>Thinking back, I wondered why I never picked up the signs. They were in my face all along. Now I had to deal with my boyfriend and best friend betraying me. Could I keep this up? Could I pretend to be okay with what had happened? My head was saying to forgive and just maybe forget but my heart was telling another story. Yes, I loved him and it was what kept me from leaving, but I was not sure if it was enough anymore. I made a promise with myself and Edward that I would never leave him, we would work it out, but at the moment I really didn't think I could keep that promise.<p>

I was getting ready to leave work when Angela approached me again.

"I just wanted to know if you could see us as friends again."

I stopped what I was doing and turned to her, shocked at the question. "Are you serious?"

Maybe she had amnesia.

"Yes."

I looked at her long and hard. From her choice of clothes to her long brown hair and brown eyes, she exuded plainness and it made me mad. I wasn't conceited but I knew I had the looks down. Was she more attractive than me? Was that the reason he slept with her? Everything came back to this and I didn't know when I would get over it and that's why I could never be friends with her again.

"No, we can't be friends. You lost that privilege," I said turning back to my work. I was waiting for her to leave when the next words out of her mouth made things worse.

"You can't forgive me but you can forgive Edward."

I stopped all movements and I could hear her heart beating really fast. I stared at her for a very long time and I could see that she was uncomfortable, and she regretted saying that, but she couldn't take back those words. I fought the urge to slap her. This was a work place but one day I would snap.

"Are you fucking questioning me? You slept with my boyfriend and tried to hide it and you never even apologized. You don't seem to care that you hurt me and you want my forgiveness!" I yelled.

She started to cry. "I am sorry Bella, so sorry, but it seems that you are solely blaming me and not Edward, and he's to blame mostly. I was drunk and hurt and I made a mistake unknowingly," she said sniffling.

Unknowingly was a lie because if that was the case then, why did she hide it? My head was spinning at this information. I didn't know what to believe. I needed time to myself.

"I can't deal with you right now, Angela, but dammit stop and admit you fucked up either way."

~TMWM~

To stay or to go?

To believe her or him?

Truthfully, we only discussed that night once and I really didn't know all the details. So I had to get more details first and then make a decision, but I knew I couldn't stay with him anymore. It was not healthy for my heart. I needed to heal first and maybe I could forgive and move on, but I needed to do it away from his influence.

I had the long ride home to think about my decision and the fact that he wasn't home yet made it easier. I went about packing and cleaning. It felt so much better knowing I was getting answers to fix our problem. Maybe one day we could go back to a happier time but for now this was the solution. As I was cleaning, I came across little reminders of our happier days and it was like a slap in the face. One picture was hard to look at because we looked so happy it hurt. You could see it in our eyes and I missed those days, missed those people.

An hour later, he came home in a good mood and he was actually smiling. I lived for those smiles but today I couldn't return it.

"Baby, let's go away, somewhere quiet," he said, coming closer and hugging me tightly. It was all I could do not to melt in his embrace.

"Edward, what are you talking about?"

"We need a vacation away from all our problems and I miss us."

I wouldn't deny that I missed us too and another time I would have jumped at the idea, but I needed answers. It was now or never. I pulled from his embrace.

"We need to talk," I said.

His smile faded.

**Is everything what you think it is?**  
><strong>How have we ever made it this far?<strong>  
><strong>Oh why isn't this how its supposed to be?<strong>  
><strong>Don't you feel like you'll never wake up?<strong>  
><strong>Where am I?<strong>  
><strong>Where is everyone in my life?<strong>  
><strong>Isn't this supposed to be questioned?<strong>  
><strong>Then why haven't you found the answers yet?<strong> 


	6. Answers

"I've always wondered what happened that night," I began.

He shook his head and his eyes tightened. "Bella, we went through this," he stated.

We never talked about it. When I found out I wanted it to be false. I wanted to believe it didn't happen. He only confessed after I found out and I threatened to leave, knowing I could never go. I always wondered why but I was too afraid to know. But now I needed to, I needed to move on.

"No, we didn't. Just answer this. Am I not good enough?"

"Of course you are," was his answer.

"Am I not attractive enough?"

He sighed. "It wasn't because of looks, Bella," he told me. "You know you're beauty," he tried to be sweet.

This wasn't getting us anywhere so I prepared myself to ask the tough questions.

"Who initiated it first?" I asked.

A long silence followed and he looked uncomfortable.

"I told you she did," he replied.

"She was drunk."

He looked down. "I know she was," he said.

Freeze everything in place. He knew she was drunk and yet it didn't matter.

"Why did you go there in the first place?" I wanted to know.

"She called me and said she needed me. Bella, she was my friend and friends are there for each other."

Typical answers and I still needed to know why.

"Baby, believe me, I never meant for this to happen," he was pleading me with me.

This is what they all say, like it changes things.

"It happened but I need to know, were you drunk?" I asked.

He looked surprised at the question. "I had a drink but no, I wasn't drunk," he answered.

Deep breaths. He knew what he was doing. He knew this was wrong. It punched me in the gut. It changed things so much. It angered me.

I took a step closer to him.

"So, if you weren't drunk then why? What made you sleep with her!" I yelled.

He looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"Shit, I don't know, it just happened," he answered.

This answer saddened me. He could tell it wasn't good enough.

"I was comforting her. She and Ben just broke up and she was a mess and then… She tried to flirt with me and I resisted at first but she started to cry and I don't know, I guess I was thinking with my dick," he explained.

My emotions were well beneath the surface, waiting to come out.

"It just happened and it didn't mean anything but yet you tried to hide it from me. You were going to come home after fucking my best friend and sleep in the same bed as me!" I raged.

I was crying now after always keeping my emotions at bay.

"Bella, please, don't cry. I can fix this, baby, I can try," he said coming closer.

I moved back and asked an important question that could make us or break us.

"Do you love her?" I asked.

He froze and looked at me carefully. My heart was pounding and I was praying for him to not let me down.

"I did," he finally answered.

**See, when I get the strength to leave **  
><strong>You always tell me that you need me <strong>  
><strong>And I'm weak cause I believe you <strong>  
><strong>And I'm mad because I love you<strong>

**Boy I gave you all my heart **  
><strong>And all you do is tear it up <strong>  
><strong>Looking out my window <strong>  
><strong>Knowing that I should go <strong>  
><strong>Even when I pack my bags <strong>  
><strong>something always hold me back<strong> 


	7. Letting You Go

It ripped my heart apart.

Broke the dam.

Gave me pain and anger.

The anger needed an outlet and he was the target.

My hand moved and I watched as it hit his face one, twice, three times.

He was shocked and took a step back.

"You love her!" I yelled.

"No, I said I did at the time. I thought it was something more but the feelings went away," he tried to defend himself.

I wasn't hearing that. All I knew was that he loved her.

"You lied to me. You said you would never hurt me, never love anyone but me!"

The tears were falling freely now and the ache in my heart was threatening to rip open. He moved closer as I moved back.

"Bella? I loved you, I love you and will always love you," he was pleading now.

"Don't lie to me."

"I love you!"

I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me. He needed to be physically and emotionally hurt, but physical was all I wanted right now. I needed to let go of my frustrations and he was the reason. I slapped him again this time harder.

"Shut up! You don't get to say that to me ever again!" I told him.

He looked at a loss for what to do and I used that to my advantage.

**~TMWM~**

I went and gathered my bags.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

I wasn't sure I would do this, but the answers I got changed things so much and now I was ready.

"I'm leaving. I need space and time. I was coming back but now I'm not so sure," I answered.

He fell to his knees begging and pleading.

"Give me one more chance to fix this," he cried.

I hated him.

"You don't get to cry. You have no right."

"Baby, please don't go. I thought you loved me you promised," he said, crawling towards me.

"You broke my heart and I'm breaking my promise," I said walking to the door.

Each step to the door he followed and every step weighed heavily on me. I never left, not even in bad times. I just couldn't and now I was making myself leave because I deserved better. I opened the door and turned to look at Edward one last time, taking in every inch of him. Those green apple eyes filled with tears, his glorious face. I had him on hands and knees but it didn't satisfy me.

"Bella," he tried one last time.

I shook my head sadly.

"Edward, I'm not leaving because I don't love you. I'm leaving because I love you and you don't deserve my love."

My last words to him before I closed the door.

**So let me on down**  
><strong>'Cause time has made me strong<strong>  
><strong>I'm starting to move on<strong>  
><strong>I'm gonna say this now<strong>  
><strong>Your chance has come and gone<strong>  
><strong>And you know...<strong>

**I can love with all of my heart, baby**  
><strong>I know I have so much to give (I have so much to give)<strong>  
><strong>With a player like you I don't have a prayer<strong>  
><strong>That's no way to live<strong>  
><strong>Ohhhh... mmm nooo<strong>  
><strong>It's just too little too late<strong>  
><strong>Yeaahhhh...<strong>


	8. Moving On

**Hi again.**

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><p>As soon as the door closed behind me, I let myself be weak with a few tears escaping. Each step that led me away from Edward was grueling and my heart was heavy. Even in hard times, we've never been apart and I've always said I would never leave and I would be by his side always. But things changed. With finding out that Angela was drunk and he loved her at one point, it was too much for me. I wanted to forgive him and move on but I was stuck on his words, stuck with seeing her face every day. It was torture.<p>

Who did I have now? I couldn't trust anyone anymore. As I got in my car and drove, I thought about where to go. I had no close friends except for Angela and she definitely was out. I did have one friend I knew I could count on. We were roommates in college, and he was always there for me, but we haven't spoken for some time and I was not sure he even remembered me. I just hoped I could still count on him.

When I got to work, I steeled myself with having to see her again. With these new revelations, I didn't think I could look at her the same way. It was packed today so I was able to keep busy at all times and didn't let my mind wander to unpleasant thoughts. But it didn't last long until I got a call from Edward. I debated whether to answer or not. At the end, I decided to let it go to voicemail. Then he called again and again. I was pressed to answer but luckily I was too busy.

Two hours later, he started texting me non-stop.

**E- Please answer your phone.**

**E- Bella, please.**

**E- I'm so sorry, I really am and I promise to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.**

**E- I need you so much and I know you haven't been gone long but it feels like forever.**

**E- You promised me forever.  
><strong>

He sounded so sad and I struggled to ignore him but he wouldn't relent. He tried to guilt me.

**E- You lied.**

**E- You promised and you lied.**

**E- You told me you loved me but you left me.**

**E- Left me here to die alone.  
><strong>

I finally responded.

**B- Sorry doesn't mean anything. I need time. I want to forgive you but you have to let me.**

**E- Fuck you. I don't need you. I'm sure Angela will keep me company.**

Low blow and a big mistake.

I was seeing red and my heart was breaking all over again. I wanted to hit something or someone, wanted to make them feel what I was feeling. My mind started to wander and I imagined all the things Edward and Angela could be doing. It was a mistake. My heart was pounding and my breath was coming in loud gasps.

"Bella?" her voice called.

_Ignore her and calm down_, my mental voice told me.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

_Why can't she take a hint?_

I acknowledged her. "Get the hell away from me," I hissed.

Her eyes widened. "Are you okay?" she stupidly asked again.

I walked from behind the desk and faced her.

"Does it look like I'm okay?" I asked her.

She opened her mouth to speak but I cut her off.

"How dare you ask me, knowing what you did?" I asked again.

I have been nice to her but she was trying my patience.

"Bella, I'm sorry" she replied.

Everyone is sorry.

Her reply angered and I wanted to slap her so I did. It was loud and everyone turned to stare. She was holding her face eyes filled with tears.

"Don't lie to me. I don't want your apology. It means nothing to me," I said.

We were attracting a lot of attention.

"Is everything okay?" our boss Irina asked, coming over.

I wished they would stop asking me that. Nothing was okay anymore.

"Yes," Angela answered hurriedly.

"No, it's not because she slept with my boyfriend behind my back. Now she's acting like it never happened and it's trying my patience," I replied bluntly.

She had the nerve to look embarrassed and hurt because now, the whole library was staring.

Irina was shocked. "I'm really sorry to hear it but this needs to be settled elsewhere. I would hate to let you both go," she said.

Was this worth my job? Of course not, I loved working here. I loved everything about my job. Angela gasped but I remained calm.

"Fine, as long as I'm not working near her," I replied going back to work.

**~TMWM~**

The day passed by without incident after that. I was ready to leave and put it behind me. After work, I drove around and ended up there, on the steps of an old friend's building, hoping I was making the right choice. I knocked once and waited with bated breath. The door opened and there stood the second best looking guy I knew. He was surprised and startled to see me here but at least he recognized me.

"Isabelle?"

**A move on**

**Then I can say I'm finally over you**

**I'm finally over you **

**I can't wait til' you're gone away**

**'Cause then I**

**Can move on**

**I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness**

**For once I'm at peace with myself**

**I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long**

**I'm movin' on**

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><p><strong>AN: So who could this friend be? Angela getting slapped around...**

**Last one and we will be aiming for posting once a week.**


	9. Worth It

**Hey, I'm back!**

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><p>"James," I replied.<p>

He pulled me into a tight hug and I hugged him back as tight as I could. I haven't felt a loving embrace like this in a while.

"Well, come in," he said, ushering me inside.

The inside was like something out of a magazine with the rich décor and colors. He's always had good taste, especially in college. He gave me the tour of the whole house and I decided right there that this was where I would stay. We always said that if neither of us was married or still single, then we would have each other. But after college, Edward happened. I hoped the offer was still standing.

"So, what's been going on?" he asked.

"Nothing much, living life," I replied.

"How is Edward? Where is he?" he finally asked the question I was dreading.

"We broke up," I answered.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

I was sorry too.

"Yeah, I left him. I just needed some space and time to figure things out."

"Where will you go?"

The million dollar question.

"See, that's the reason why I'm here. I was wondering if I could stay here for a while. I know we haven't spoken for some time, and I'm sorry it took this for me to contact you, but you were my first choice," I explained.

"Of course, Bella, take all the time you need," his answer was quick.

"Are you sure?" I wanted to know.

"Definitely," he replied.

**~TMWM~**

I enjoyed living with James. It was just like in college. We would go out to eat and afterwards go clubbing. The comfort and familiarity was still there and I could tell him anything and he would give the best advice.

"You know, I always thought you and Edward would make it," he said abruptly one night.

I didn't want to think about this now. I had thought about Edward all week and then some. Wondering if I made the right choice, wondering what he was doing or practically who was he with. And then I would remember his last words to me and I would close off my mind. It was a dangerous place.

"So did I," was my reply.

"What happened then, if you don't mind me asking?" he wanted to know.

"He slept with Angela," I said.

There was a pronounced silence.

"Angela, your best friend Angela?" he finally spoke.

"My ex best friend, yeah. And I thought I could forgive and forget because I love him, you know, but then some more details came into focus and love wasn't enough," I told him.

"I understand. My dad cheated on my mom and that was a hard time to get by," he said.

"Really? But you're parents are still together," I was surprised.

"I know but they worked to get there and it wasn't easy," he explained.

"I wish it was easy but I don't think I'll get over this," I said truthfully.

He turned to me. "Bella, you love him and I know he loves you and mistakes are made. But we fix them and try not to make them again."

"That's what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid he'll make a mistake again," I said, letting the fears I've been holding in out.

"My parents taught me something. They taught me love is worth it, love is worth everything, but sometimes the relationship is not," he explained.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I'm saying relationships take work, and sometimes you have to fight for it, but is it worth the fight?" he questioned.

I was thinking about that talk a lot and it made sense. I wanted to be with Edward but I couldn't get past his cheating. It would take some time but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that I was willing to forgive him, willing to fight for what we had left. I just hoped he was willing too.

**It ain't hard to tell when it's something real**

**You can have the world, all you want is them**

**Even when you're in the crowd and you spot them from a mile**

**That's when you know love is worth it**

**When it's going on you never give up**

**When you're on the phone you never hang up**

**Even when you're feeling down, they can always make you smile**

**That's when you know love is worth it **


	10. One month

**A/N: I'm sorry the chapter is so late but I have the last few written out already, so updates should be more frequent.**

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><p><em><strong>One<strong>__** month later**_

You have one new message:

_Please c__all me._

You have two new messages:

_I m__iss you. I really need to talk to you._

_Bella, I know that sorry is not sufficient for what I did but I'm sorry, so very sorry that it has come to this. I want to make it up to you so please call me back when you get this._

Remorse. Regret. Guilt.

Every voicemail sounded remorseful and pleading. Every voicemail sent my heart a flutter. I wasn't ready to hear his voice fully. I could listen to a recording but the real thing, I was afraid I would break down and cry. I was contemplating whether I should call him back and I really wanted to. I wanted to stop avoiding him. I wanted to fix our broken past and make the present better. I decided to text him.

**Bella-** _Sorry I've been avoiding you. I just needed some time._

That sounded reasonable and it wasn't a lie. He responded quickly.

**Edward-** _Acceptable and I understand. You have no reason to apologize. I miss you so much. I made a mess of our relationship and I want to make things right... if you'll let me._

Wow, this didn't sound like the man I knew before. All was well with me if he was willing to fix it and not put the blame on me.

**Bella-** _I would love that._

I would say that I missed him too but it seemed too soon.

**Edward-** _Thank you. I would like to talk to you face to face. Can we meet tomorrow?_

**Bella-** _Yes. At the old café._

**Edward-** _Okay, I can be there around one. Can't wait to see you._

It would be one month since I last saw him and that was enough to make me nervous. I had no idea what to expect from him. Would he automatically expect us to be together again? Would I say yes? Did we need more time? I needed someone to talk to so I called James.

"So, you want to see him again but you don't think you're doing the right thing?" James repeated.

I sighed. "Yes. Is it too soon?"

"Bella, I can't answer that. Only you know the answer."

"I don't want to make a mistake."

"But if you want to move forward, it doesn't have to be a fixed time. Are you ready?"

"Of course."

"Then, there shouldn't be a problem."

"Thanks James."

"You're welcome. And Bella, the only reason I would tell you not to go would be for selfish reasons that I'm sure you know. But be careful."

"I will."

I loved talking to James, and sometimes I missed living with him, but I needed my own space. I rented an apartment not too far from my job and I loved it. Except that sometimes I got lonely living on my own, coming home to an empty house and an empty bed. When I lived with James, at first, I couldn't sleep by myself. I was so used to sharing a bed, I would sleep with James until I fell asleep and he would carry me back to my bed. Other times, I cried myself to sleep at night. I was used to it now that I had my own space. I did long for company and companionship but I knew that was useless. I went on a few dates but they all fell short. I would wish they had green apple eyes, deep dimples and that crooked smile. I would wish for long muscular arms around me and the kisses could never compare. There was a time I thought James could be the one. He had that loving and caring quality, a gentle smile, those sparkling eyes but all that was physical. It could never work.

*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*

I was looking through a new shipment of books that came through at work. Romantic dramas, they could be called 'welcome to my life'. I was labeling them when I happened to look up just as Ben walked in. Color me surprised.

"Ben, it's been so long!"

"I know, I just had to get away."

"Well, I'm glad to see you. How are you holding up?"

"Been better. How are you?"

"Coming around."

"Angela still works here, right?"

"Yes, she's been out for a few weeks." And it has made my week so much better.

"Okay, she hasn't been answering my calls and I just wanted to check."

"Have you been by the house?"

"No, I didn't want to show up unannounced. Could you call her? Maybe she'll answer."

Ah the awkwardness ensued, but why was he asking me to do that? Surely he knew.

"Ben, you know me and Angela are no longer friends?"

I watched his eyes widen. "Not at all. What happened?"

"The simple act of her sleeping with my boyfriend."

He was shocked and confused. "Are you sure? Ang' would never do that, least of all with Edward."

"I thought so too, Ben."

"When did this happen?"

"I believe the same night you left Angela."

His face went through a myriad of emotions: shock, anger, and finally sadness.

"I didn't want to believe that they could do something like this, Ben, but it happened. She was drunk. He wasn't thinking."

"Bella, I'm truly sorry but is that the only reason you and Angela are no longer friends?"

He was searching my face for something but I was confused. "Yes, I'm sure... What other reason could it be?"

"I'm not sure I'm the one you should be asking," he said sadly and walked out.

What other reason could it be?


	11. Meeting

**A/N:**** Thank you for being so patient with the updates and I really think you should thank gaellelovesmax because without her you would have to wait much longer. Love you, Leïla.**

**www . booksislove . blogspot . com**** Please go there and read story updates and news. Important updates you should know.**

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><p>It was one o'clock and I was on my way to meet Edward. To say I was nervous would have been an understatement. I had butterflies in my stomach. I knew how I felt but I didn't know if it would change once I saw him. I just had to be careful and on guard around him. I checked my outfit one last time: olive green sundress, black flats and a black wrap (of course accessories to match). I wanted to look extra nice for him until I finally decided that this outfit would do. I arrived at 1:15pm and found him to be already there and waiting. I calmed my racing heart and walked slowly to the table. I got a good look at him in his olive green polo shirt and black cargo shorts. His muscular arms looked tanned and big and I could faintly see my name tattoo peeking under his shirt. As I got nearer, I could see his face more clearly and I wanted to cry at how perfect he looked. Were his eyes ever that green? Dimples that deep? With my heart racing in double time, it took all my strength not to sprint over and wrap my around him. He was looking out the window in deep thought so he didn't notice me until I cleared my throat.<p>

"We match," I said in greeting.

He was startled, nearly jumping out his chair, and turned to face me in surprise. I guess he didn't think I would show up. He looked me up and down and smiled.

"Yes, we do but you look so much better," he complimented me.

I tried to look unaffected by his words and took a seat. We just stared at each other for a long time, taking it all in before I looked away.

"It's good to see you, Isabella. You have no idea," he was staring at me intently as he spoke.

My face warmed and I tried to ignore the way my name sounded coming from his lips.

"It's good to see you too, Edward. You look well."

"For now."

"So, what is it you needed to talk to me about?"

"Everything. Us. I want to let you know how sorry I am. The last time we spoke, I was half drunk, drowning in my miseries and said some hurtful words I didn't mean. Can you forgive me for that?"

I was a forgiving person on certain aspects so it was easy to let this go.

"Yes, I can and thank you for the apologies."

He smiled. "I would have called you sooner but I knew you needed time and I also needed time to figure out how to fix this. Firstly, I want to say there is no excuse for my actions and I deserved for you to leave me. I've never deserved you, Isabella, especially not your love."

Hearing him say that made me so happy. I was glad that he accepted the truth and was taking the blame. His words were sincere and truthful. He had never lied to me and would hate being lied to. Maybe he would hide the truth from you and delay you finding out but not if you came right out and asked him. That's why I could forgive him sooner.

"Thank you for saying that, Edward."

"It took me a while to see it but I know it's the truth. I deserve for you to never forgive me and to hate me but I don't want that, Bella," he continued.

I swallowed. "What do you want?"

"I want your forgiveness and mostly your love. I don't deserve it but I want it. I live for it, Bella. It's what makes our relationship special. You were the only girl that really loved me for me and I should have never taken it for granted. Can you love me again? Can you see yourself with me someday?"

Why did it take something like this for him to confess, for him to realize? You won't miss it until it's truly gone, they say.

"I never stopped loving you, Edward, and yes, I can forgive you but can you forgive yourself?"

"If it helps, yes, I can."

"I forgive you," I said smiling.

"We're obviously not ready for a relationship but can you see us being friends for now?"

"No, we can't be friends. It would only cause more issues but let's not put a label on what we have. Let's enjoy it for now."


	12. New start

**A/N: Readin****g every review and I will reply some time but for now things are busy. So, the last few chapters should come in succession of each other. P.S: reading some of the reviews, if you don't like the direction the story is going, feel free to stop reading.**

I went home that day happy at the prospect of seeing Edward again. I really missed spending time with him and was glad it went smoothly. Friendship at this time wouldn't work but only because it would create more drama, so it was better to take it as it went along. I was worried about it being too soon to reconcile and that I forgave him too easily. I wish I could hate him forever and stop loving him but I couldn't. I wanted to take a step forward and make new memories, if not for us but for me as well. I called James with the update and he seemed happy for me but I could tell he wasn't really sincere. I hoped I was doing the right thing, being his friend despite his feelings.

Edward called the next day and this time, I happily answered the phone. We talked for hours about everything. The good and bad of our past were recollected and we wondered what we could have changed to stop the impending fate we never knew was coming. We reminisced about the start of our friendship. We had known there was something more but we were scared to admit it, until Angela had called us out and I had the courage to ask him out on our first date. I knew at some point we would have to talk about Angela and when she came up, we immediately skipped over it. It wasn't easy because she was a part of our past and present whether we liked it or not. He did bring up a good point that I was thinking about all the time lately.

"Sometimes, I wonder if it would have been the same if we never had met Angela."

I wondered about it daily and I first thought none of this would have happened. But then I thought it could have been any girl he slept with, and that without Angela I never would have met Edward.

"It seems like it should matter but it doesn't because she could be any girl. But she was my best friend and without her, there would be no you."

He sighed. "Yes, Bella, that's true. It _could_ have but I've been thinking that if I hadn't answered the phone, could I have avoided this?"

Could he? Would He? Why was that phone call so important?

"Why did you answer? Any other time you might have ignored it so, why did that call matter?"

"Because of what Ben told me and she was my friend, Bella, who was going through a rough time."

She _was_ my friend also, my best friend at that, so why did I never receive a phone call? It just didn't make sense.

"Yeah, she used to be my best friend, Edward, but she never called me."

"I know and I wonder why constantly. I wonder why Ben left her and the only person who knows the answers is Angela."

That brought up Ben's visit to see Angela and the conversation we had. All he left were unanswered questions.

"Not entirely. Ben can answer it and I wish I would have asked him when he came looking for Angela the other day."

"Strange for him to just pop up."

"Yeah, and he wasn't aware of the situation. I had to tell him and I feel bad that he had to hear it from me."

"Are you sure he didn't know?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I was confused, especially when he asked if it was the only reason we weren't friends anymore."

"The _only _reason? He makes it seem like that's not enough to end of a friendship."

My passing days were filled with calls and texts from Edward. He came by my job a few times and we went out to lunch. The loneliness started to pass and I felt happy again. I even invited James to lunch with us one time, thinking it would be nice for the two men in my life to meet. They didn't get along at all. James hated Edward for hurting me and he was jealous. Edward thought that James would come between us and that I might catch feelings for him. He ignored my phone calls for days and it caused a heavy sadness to engulf me. I turned to James for comfort and his advice was to forget about Edward, that he didn't deserve me and I was better off without him. I wished it was that easy to let him go. Why should he be mad at me? I was the victim here but I was selfish enough to care.


	13. Lies

Angela came back to work the week after and avoided me like the plague. It didn't bother me except that she did it on purpose. She never looked in my eyes, always left the desk if I was there. It seemed logical because I told her to stay away from me but we were on a shortage of staff at work, and we had to work together a lot to get things done. Because of how small the library was, it was impossible not to be around each other. And I really didn't have anything to say except to inform her of Ben's visit.

"Hey, Angela," I called.

She flinched and slowly walked towards me. You would think I threatened her life.

I rolled my eyes. "Calm down, I just wanted to tell you that Ben came by."

"Oh, I talked to him," she said with a small smile. I nodded and was about to walk away when curiosity got the best of me.

"It's none of my business but are you guys getting back together?"

She smiled. "He came all the way back here to see me so, I guess so."

I nodded and then asked the question that was bothering me. "Why did he leave you in the first place?"

Her smile faded. "None of your business," she snapped and walked away.

_Wow,__ must have touched a nerve._

**~TMWM~**

Edward finally called back.

"I'm sorry. I've been busy and I needed time."

"Time for?"

"Last week, I realized that even though we have something now, it might not be enough and you have James."

"I thought you wanted nothing to do with me."

"I want everything with you, Bella."

"James is just a friend, even though it may seem like it's more than that, but that's all."

"He's just a friend for now."

"And when he becomes more than a friend you just have to deal with it. Don't make me feel guilty, Edward."

"I'm sorry. I guess I deserve it, uh?"

"I guess so."

**~TMWM~**

Edward never lied to me. He told me he would never make that mistake again. So when I walked into work a few days later, I was surprised that the first thing I saw was Angela and Edward hugging. I thought I was having a nightmare and then realized the nightmare was real. The dream I had of Edward betraying me again. My trust backfiring. It was all coming to life.

"What the fuck is going on?" were my first words.

Angela had her arms wrapped around Edward and looked content with her eyes closed. She was practically melting. I couldn't see Edward clearly since they were near the desk but it seemed clear to me. When she heard me speak, she immediately opened her eyes and moved away from Edward quickly. I glared at her and she had the nerve to look afraid.

Edward looked surprised to see me there until he saw me glaring at Angela.

"Bella, I can explain," Edward said, moving towards me.

I didn't want to hear it. I was seeing my fears coming alive. My trust was broken. How long has this been going on?

"I trusted you, Edward. Not once but twice!"

"Bella, there is nothing going on here, just a misunderstanding," he pleaded with me.

I couldn't get the image out of my head. It was on repeat, and then more images came, images of what happened the last time and what could happen in the present. Maybe I was overreacting over a hug. But what would you do if you saw your ex, who you were starting to trust again, hugging (and it looked too cozy) your ex best friend who he slept with?

"Angela, tell her nothing is going on!" Edward looked towards Angela for help.

She looked like she was caught doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing. She ignored his plea and walked away quickly.

"Isabella, please I love you. I would never make the same mistake again."

Incidents like this are what makes you see. I thought I trusted him again when in reality, I didn't. Because if I did, I wouldn't doubt him for one second, but it was another situation all over again.

This really put me back to square one. I never went back to work. I cried myself to sleep at night with images upon images replaying in my mind. I threw away every memory of him and ignored every call and text. I wanted to be left alone to drown in my misery. I was partly angry with myself, _how could I let this happen again?_ I let my guard down. I looked for signs that he was seeing her behind my back but I couldn't find any. I looked for lies in his words but I couldn't trust my judgment anymore.

James hated Edward even more now. He believed that he was lying the whole time but he was biased. He kept me company even when I wasn't in the mood. He temporarily moved in so he came over a lot. It was sad that the only guy I could count on wasn't the guy I wanted. It all came crashing down when he took me out to lunch. I immediately saw Edward and Angela sitting at a window seat. I couldn't see his face but she was crying, touching his hand pleading with him. I couldn't stand this anymore. I turned back around to leave.

"Bella, you can't keep running away. Let's go confront him," James said.

"I'm done wasting my time with him. Let's go."

In the car on the way back home, with the day's incident replaying in my mind, I asked James for some time alone.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yes, I just need time alone for the moment."

"I'm here for you, sweetheart, as long as you need me," he said softly and left the car.

Once he closed the car's door, I let the tears escape one by one. Why couldn't I be happy? I asked myself why I had trusted him again so easily. I let out all my anger in the car and went into the house with a fake smile on my face. James took one look at me and gave me a tight hug. I blinked back the tears this action let on. No more wasted tears.

"I wish I could make it better. I wish I could take away the pain," he said rocking me slowly. "I love you so much, Isabella, and I could be good for you. One day, you'll see that."

I _could_ see it and I could see myself accepting his love but only to mask the pain, and I couldn't lie to him like that. I looked at James in all his glory, taking in his hazel eyes that reflected love and pain, his handsome face, a sad smile around his mouth. It was almost as if he was reflecting what I was feeling and I didn't want that for either of us. I didn't want to feel anything at the moment.

"Make me feel better," I whispered, leaning up to kiss him.

His eyes widen. "Bella?" he questioned.

"Make me feel something other than pain," I explained and kissed him roughly.

He stiffened at first and then he was kissing me back hungrily. He moaned in my mouth but it sounded all wrong. This kiss felt all wrong but I pushed the thought away. I focused on the man kissing me and tried to feel what I knew he was feeling. I didn't feel anything but lust. I hadn't been with anyone since Edward and it made it easy to take the next step. I unbuttoned his shirt and kissed all over his chest. He was enjoying it so much and spurred me on further. I eyed the hard bulge in his pants and went to take them off, when his hands stopped me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He regained composure. "Don't do this, Bella. It will only make you feel worse later on."

I didn't want to hear this. "You don't want this?" I tried another tactic.

"No."

"You don't want me?"

He looked surprised "Isabelle, I want you but when you want me to, not as a rebound. And I can't do that to you."

Any other time, I would have been happy to hear this, but right now I needed a distraction.

"I just want it to go away, James, and you could do that for me."

He sat me on the couch. "Sweetheart, I can't make it go away. I hate to say this but only Edward can."

I didn't want to feel what I knew I would feel at the mention of his name. I didn't want to think about him. I didn't want James to be the reasonable one right now.

"No, he can't!" I yelled, standing up.

He sighed. "I'm sorry but if you want closure then, yes, he can."

I hated that he was right.

"I hate him. I never want to see him again."

"You love him."

"No."

"You love him and that's why..."

"I can't love someone I hate," I cut him off, lying to make me feel better.

He ignored me and delivered the last blow. "You hate him because no matter what, you will always love him, and it's killing you."

The truth hit me hard and I blocked every feeling his words brought on. I didn't want to hear what my heart already knew. Denying it made it so much easier.

"Shut up, James, please," I begged him.

"I want to help you, Isabelle, and..."

I hated James for making it sound so easy. I hated him for rejecting me, no matter which way he put it. He did reject me. All I wanted was to forget and since he couldn't do it, I wanted him gone.

"You're not helping me. Please leave."

"Bella..."

"James."

I wanted to break down and cry but I wanted to do it alone. I didn't want his pity. I didn't want his advice. I just needed to let it all out one last time and go back to pretending I was happy.

"I can't leave you."

He was sincere, being a good friend, but I was reaching my breaking point. The day's events were taking a toll on me; seeing Angela and Edward together _again_, James rejecting me. It all added up to my emotional frustration.

"James, please, just go. Please, I want to be alone and you're not making it any better, no matter how hard you try. You'll just end up with me hating you and I don't want that. You've been so good to me," I said calmly.

I could see the flash of hurt in his eyes as he left but he said nothing, and I was left with silence.


	14. Truth

**A/N: Firstly****, wow! We passed 100 reviews (117)! Seriously thanks so much for the attention to this story. I finally got around to replying to reviews but if I missed you let me know. Okay, we are coming to the end of this story very soon, maybe 2-3 chapters left.**

**So**** we left off with Edward betraying Bella again with Angela (or so she saw).**

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><p>I didn't cry. I got angry. Everything that reminded me of him, I burned it. Every picture frame was smashed, every picture ripped. Everything went except for E.J., my teddy bear. Edward got it for me for my birthday. It was special and had meaning, it went everywhere with me. We went to different colleges and I had felt alone and had missed him so he gave it to me with these words: "so that you're never alone".<p>

It was like he was with me, it even smelled like him. But I didn't cry, I hugged it to me and fell asleep.

**~TMWM~**

I was woken by a loud knocking on my front door. I rolled over and tried to ignore it. I wasn't in the mood for any company as the memories from yesterday caught up to me. I pushed away those thoughts and grabbed E.J. trying to fall back to sleep when I noticed it was wet with tears. The knocking got louder and louder. I sighed at the prospect of getting back to sleep, it was not going to happen. I got out of bed, angry at the person who was knocking on my door so early in the morning. Imagine my surprise, shock, and anger at my unexpected visitor. When I finally opened the door, I took one look at Angela and slammed the door in her face. She was D.E.A.D. to me. She had the audacity to even come here. The knocking started again and again but I ignored it.

"Bella, I know I'm the last person you want to see but it's important that I talk to you."

I had nothing to say to her. I knew what I saw and I didn't want to relive it again, especially not at her expense.

"Bella, please," she pleaded.

"Angela, if you know what's best for you, you should leave. I'm losing patience with you," I told her, walking away. It was better for me because as much as I wanted to kill her, she was not worth it. The knocking started up again and I ignored it until I heard another voice.

"Bella, I know you have every right to be angry but I'm begging you to let her have her say," Ben spoke up.

To say I was confused was the least. If he knew what had happened then why was he with her? I opened the door slowly.

"Ben?" I said, ignoring Angela's anxious yet determined face.

"Can we come in?"

"Sure you can but why are you here with her?"

He sighed. "Long story but what's more important is that Angela talks to you. She has a lot to say and apologize for."

I scoffed. "Say what? I saw her and Edward hugging at the café yesterday. So what is she apologizing for? For being a backstabbing whore or for getting caught?"

Her eyes widened and Ben shook his head. "No, Bella, Angela was with me yesterday and we ran into Edward" Ben said.

I knew Ben wouldn't ever lie about something like this but it still didn't explain why I saw them together.

"This is not a conversation we should have outside."

"Come in you have five minutes."

They rushed in quickly. Angela looked awkward and unsure standing here in my house.

"You look like hell, Bella" Ben commented.

That was an understatement. I knew I looked much worse. "I could say the same thing for you," I said, looking at his tired bloodshot eyes.

"Well, this has taken a toll on me."

I was confused as to why he was still with her when she was with Edward, or so I thought since Ben said he was with Angela yesterday too. "Is that so? Then why are you back with her?" I asked, glaring at Angela, waiting for her to finally speak.

"Because I love her," he said simply and took her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

His answer was so simple yet it said a lot about him. He was enduring all of this because of love and I couldn't fault him because I had been there.

"Clock is ticking," I said to Angela.

Ben's support seemed to have given her some strength and she took a deep breath and began. "I've had a crush on Edward since the first day I met him. At first it was just infatuation and then it became more and I thought we would act on it, especially since he seemed to feel the same way."

This should have been surprising to me and it was in a way. I suspected she had a crush but I never thought it went beyond that, even with the fact that Edward said he had loved her too. That fact still hurt.

"I figured, all of this is nothing new," I said, getting impatient.

"There's more. When you came along, all of that went out the window and I tried to be happy for you, and I was to my capability, but I always felt that you took him away from me in a way," she stopped.

Was she serious? I took him away? When she had no claim! I was her best friend; she was supposed to be happy for me. I would have been if the situation had been reversed, and a part of me thought that if she had told me, I wouldn't have pursued him out of respect.

"So, that's why you slept with my boyfriend? Drunk or not it was wrong, Angela. How could you do that to me? Have I ever treated you wrong?"

I tried to think back where I ever disrespected her or betrayed her but I knew I never did. She was the only friend I could really count on; I felt that we were equals.

"No, and I know there is no excuse but I have to tell why I did it. I was jealous of you, Bella. I wanted what you had, and then I found Ben and he loved me. I loved him too but it wasn't enough. There was always Edward, and he thought he could never compete so he left me and I blamed you for it. Here was another person leaving me because of you. So, that night I called Edward because he was the first person I thought of. I just wanted company, I never thought of hurting you but then he was there and I was half drunk," she paused as tears started to fall.

"It's okay, take your time," Ben comforted her.

I was standing, still processing what she told me. She basically blamed me and was jealous. She was saying she sabotaged my relationship on purpose.

"I thought that if I could show him how I felt, he would leave you. At the same time I knew it wouldn't work but I knew it would still break you apart. I take full responsibility, even though he went willingly. I used his weakness but it didn't work the way I thought, until I told you I was drunk. And when it was over between him and you, I thought I had a chance but I felt guilty so I told the truth to Edward. That day at the library, he came looking for you and I was there. That day, nothing happened at all except for a hug, for a lost friend and lover. He was so distraught, Bella, and I could see he really loved you, and that brought up old jealousy. I could have helped him out but I was selfish and I ran away. Then I talked to Ben and he convinced me that I was wrong and that I needed to apologize and explain. That day at the café was just both of us running into Edward, and me trying to fix things. But he wanted nothing to do with me. He told me he wasn't the one I should apologize to. It was you, Bella. I hurt you more than ever and I know apologizing won't do anything good, but I needed you to know the truth. The truth is that Edward loves you."

Grasping the puzzle pieces and putting them together, I let all the information sink in my brain. The fact that Angela was never my friend, the fact that she would cause me all this trouble, it was shocking. But hearing Angela tell me he loved me was something else. I could have forgiven him for making a mistake and we could have worked on the trust issues before but I couldn't because I had thought he loved Angela. He told me he did. I didn't trust the fact that he might not go back to her but now I knew. I was hurt and angry all at once. I had a reason to doubt him but I felt foolish about it because he told me he wouldn't make that mistake again and he never lied to me. I needed to talk to him. I knew we just couldn't pick up where we left off but he needed to know that I was willing to work on it. I was willing to put a little trust in the fact that he loved me. But first, I needed to deal with Angela. I lunged for her throat.

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><p><strong>AN: So here we are. What did you think of that? I know you all guessed a part right but how is this for a change? Anyway, do me a favor will you? Check out my story The Fall on my profile.**

**Love you all, thanks for sticking with me through this journey. To those who don't see a HEA for this, do you still think so? If so, it's fine. HEA shouldn't always end with 100% happiness but when they find something none the less.**

**Leila, my pretty Leila, I adore you. I can never thank you enough. So merci beaucoup, ma chérie.**

**XoXo M**


	15. Beautiful Mess

** Well Here we are with the last chapter ( there might be an epilouge but we will see) . I'm Happy with the way it ended and i hope you are too ( If you're not then i can accept that also)**

**Anyway thank you to everyone who reviewed and took an interest in this story i really appreciate it. This story had the most reviews out of all my stories and that fills me with happiness ( yeah i know reviews are not everything but they make you feel good)**

**See You At The Bottom **

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><p>BPOV<p>

If ben hadn't jumped between me and Angela I would have done more damage than necessary. She just stood there looking pathetic waiting for me to hit her but I had more important things to do. I vowed to never waste any more energy on people like her she was officially erased from my memory. I kicked them out and hurried to get ready and go to Edward. My mind was on auto pilot with one fixated focus and did not include work but Irina called and said I had to come in.

I tried to trade shifts but I missed so many days already so it was a done deal. Being at work wasn't like it used to be all I wanted to do was get out of there and go find him. I had so many things to say and I wanted to sort out any problems we had. I needed this closure from all the heart break and pain I've experienced this past month. I knew we couldn't go back to the way we were before and I knew part of me couldn't trust him but I wanted to at least have some kind of connection to him.

I wanted to feel loved again, I wanted his love anyway I could have it. One thing I should have never doubted was his love for me even if I had reason to. I needed to hear his side of the story. Time was dragging slowly at work for the first time ever and if that wasn't bad enough, Angela came to work also and avoided me completely so much so Irina had to ask what was going on. I did not want to rehash anything it was time for me to move on one way or another.

James called and I felt guilty and sick for the way I treated him. I was messed up last night that was the only way I would ever sleep with James. Nothing about him but I could never see myself sleeping with someone I didn't love. He was so good to me through all of this I knew I owed him more than ever. I knew it wasn't fair to keep being his friend either he deserved so much better.

"I wasn't sure if I should call or not but I had to check on you" he sounded remorseful and sad.

"Thanks so much for even wanting to call me after how I treated you" I admitted gratefully.

"Its fine Bella I knew what you were going through" he assured me.

"No it's not fine, that's no way to treat a friend like you I'm so embarrassed by my actions"

"I forgive you Isabelle, if it's okay with you I would like to come over..."

I sighed this was going to be the hard part, I didn't want to give him up but I had to. He was still pining over me and even though he never complains I know it's not easy for him.

"I don't think you should come over James, I know you have feelings and I can't give them back"

"I can handle it Bella I know one day you'll see me as more"

"That's it, I don't see you as more and I never will. I can't be your friend with that hanging over my head James"

"I guess I understand…. But are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Yes I'm going to talk with Edward today, Angela came to my house to tell me what really happened and I found out more than ever"

"You're giving him a second chance?"

"Maybe but I still love him no matter what and I know he loves me"

"I hope you're right Isabelle I really hope that you are right"

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I went by our house straight after work, it felt strange walking up to the door and not going straight in. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. I kept knocking for about 20 minutes but no one came to the door. I contemplated where he could be, I didn't want to call him because this needed to be face to face. I got back in the car thinking about what to do.

When I came to my apartment I decided to call him but the sight in front of my door stopped me. Edward was waiting by my door pacing back and forth; he looked up at the sound of my car and started to walk towards me. With my heart beating loudly I stepped out at the same time and started forward.

"I was just about to leave" he said taking me in.

"I went by the house looking for you" I replied.

"Really?" he asked surprised.

"Yes I think we need to talk" I replied carefully.

He sighed "I know I ran into Angela and James these past two days"

"You talked to James?" I ask surprised.

"Well not really talked he told me what he thought of me and so forth but we got some facts straight"

I unlocked the door and ushered him in all the while sorting out my thoughts.

"This won' take long I just wanted to say I get why you thought something was going on between me and Angela again. I deserved it for what I did and its fine that you don't trust me but you need to know when I make a mistake I don't repeat it again because that's what it was, a horrible mistake and I love you too much to even think about doing it again" he started talking before I could sit down.

"I know and I'm sorry for doubting that you loved me"

"Don't apologize to me"

"But I need to; I did jump to conclusions never getting your side of the story until Angela came by"

He looks surprised "Bella you should know I had no idea of her feelings and I feel sick that she used me, I've only loved you and will always love only you. I know we can't go back to the way we were and I understand if you never want to see me again but I needed you to know nothing happened between me and Angela and nothing will ever happen again."

He pulled me into a tight hug and kissed my forehead. I melted into his embrace feeling at home. I've missed having his arms around me and I missed his minty smell. I never wanted to let go and stay here forever but I couldn't so easily. I pulled from the embrace sighing.

"I guess I'll go now, take care of yourself Bella" he said turning to go.

I was completely surprised; I expected him to beg and plead to stay. I thought he would fight not give up.

"You want to leave?"

"Well I didn't think you would want me to stay"

"I do and I don't, I want us to be together again but I know it won't be soon so I'll take being your friend over not having you at all"

His smile was pained "I don't think I can be your friend Bella"

"Wait not just friends but special friends, we won't be together but we can do what you normally do in any relationship. It will take me a while to completely trust you again so we can work from friendship on up"

His smile was full of happiness now "what does special friend entail?"

"This" I replied reaching up to kiss him. My body was on fire so was my lips; this kiss was intense with lost time to make up for. He pressed me into him and took over the kiss telling me how much he missed me and how much he loves me with his lips.

It burned but it was a good burn full of passion and promise, promise to tread carefully. We made a mess of our relationship but it was a beautiful mess.

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><p><strong>I'm halfway done with my story the fall( 1-2 chapters left) Please check it out and also i started a new story: The Guardian i would love for you to check it out. i'm having fun writing it.<strong>

**Thanks for stopping By!**

**xoxoxoxo MeMe**


	16. Beautiful Mess 2

There won't be an Epilogue but I Posted First Chapter to the Sequel. Beautiful Mess is the title.

Happily Ever After For Sure, I Felt like even though I was happy with the ending they deserved more so there you go!

XoXoXo M


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